Fall or Fly
by Sarah the Boring
Summary: (Suiko. 1) Sweet, short, simple story; Gremio comes to terms with McDohl's growing up.


Fall or Fly

_Genso Suikoden, names, characters, etc. copyright Konami; lyrics copyright Blue Mountain Music; story property of the author. And no, this is not a songfic. ^_~_

**Fall or Fly  
A Suikoden Fanfiction**  
by [Sarah][1]

_I want you to know  
That you don't need me anymore  
I want you to know  
You don't need anyone or anything at all  
Who's to say where the wind will take you?  
Who's to say what it is will break you?  
I don't know which way the wind will blow  
Who's to know when the time has come around?  
Don't want to see you cry  
I know that this is not goodbye  
— U2, "Kite"_  
  


The steam seemed so easy to breathe, filling his lungs with the same enveloping warmth that the room wrapped around his skin. He tipped his head back over the edge, unbound hair dripping onto the floor, and looked up at the walls upside-down. Couldn't be good for the paintings, though. Sansuke should check up on that.

The man was doing his job, though—not a soul had disturbed the steam room. The room was silent except for the hiss of water on hot coals and a meditative, periodic dripping. There were more fitting places to think, probably—the castle had all manner of unexpected corners and overlooks - but he'd wanted something enclosed and private, and the baths delivered.

He wasn't used to being alone, especially lately... his mind returned reflexively to the thought that there was some duty he should be taking care of. But the young master was asleep early, guarded by Cleo and Pahn, and Flik and Mathiu were right down the hall. There was no need to worry.

Gremio smiled to himself. Not that he _ needed_ a reason most of the time.

Besides, the young master could keep himself safe. He knew that now. Gremio had seen him fend off both monsters and Imperial troops; he'd rallied so many disparate souls under his command; his judgment was courageous, level-headed, and true.

He'd grown up. Gremio knew that now. The energetic little boy he'd lugged around in his arms as a teenager, Kai's young apprentice practicing counter-attacks in the yard, his charge, his joy, the child who meant more to him than any blood relative, even Master Teo... the child was a man. Not just a man—a hero, a leader of men.

...women too, he amended, thinking of what would surely be Cleo's retort. Gremio smiled a little, leaning against the edge of the tub. As admirable a man as the young master had become, it settled his heart to know that the others were looking out for him. Pahn was no tactical genius, but he was solid and dependable, and loyal to the McDohl family. And Cleo.... well, Cleo was Cleo. Gremio blushed a little and crossed his arms over his chest underwater. Not long after Cleo had come to them, just after the young master was born, he'd dreamed of marrying her so that none of them would ever have to be separated. He couldn't have been more than eleven years old.

Even though some part of him still secretly wished that the young master would find someone like Cleo, he'd all but lost the idea of such a fate for himself. He hadn't given up all at once, in a wrench of conscience; the idea just seemed less and less likely, and so faded out of his conscious mind. His commitment was to young McDohl now, as it had been for more than seventeen years. Gremio's destiny was in his hands, and he didn't think so much anymore of having a separate life. He'd been content with that.

But now he could choose. He thought he tasted freedom in the future, but he wasn't sure what freedom was like, and under it lay a sour tang of fear. If you were free, you could never really be safe. Still...

He stood on the edge of a cliff, now. All his life, once it had been ripped apart by marauders and built back up by Master Teo, had been dedicated to keeping Teo's son from wandering over the edge of the cliff. All his life Gremio had held him, safe and calm, but now he was gone, and Gremio had to jump—to fall or fly.

He would never leave his charge behind. Some part of him knew that. Even if he didn't have to stay by the young master's side, his heart in some way would be with him. That was how he felt most at peace. But when the time came, he would have to decide, and make the jump.

Gremio ducked underwater for a moment, savoring the warmth, his gold hair swirling in the current. Then he rose to his feet.

When the time came, he knew what to do: as always, he would follow his heart.

  
  


_Not one of my best, but a) there isn't much Suiko 1 fanfic around here and b) I'm thinking of MSTing this someday, so enjoy it while you can. ^_~_

   [1]: mailto:sarahtheboring@aol.com



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